Road Trip?

4 01 2014

This is the journey ahead of me.  I know where my finish line is but I have no idea how to get there.  I have my GPS to guide me along the way and I have check points, because this journey is too long to get down in one day.  Road blocks might come and detours might need to be taken, and tolls to be paid.  Oh I’m sorry, did you think I was talking about the trip I am making to Florida?  I am taken, but I am talking about the trip that is being a follower of Christ.  My journey will take my whole life.  The finish line is Heaven and the GPS is Christ.  Check points exist because I get called all over the place.  Road blocks because the Devil is on the prowl and detours for when I fall.  Tolls because there is a cost of following The Almighty.   That cost of leaving those we love and leaving our wills at the starting line.


Sex-A sneak peek

1 06 2013

A sneak peek into a documentary that I would like to do and am hoping to get an “ok” on to do.


The act of sex is a very private matter, however the temptation of and falling into sexual sin needs to be a open matter. I myself as stated before in this blog have had a struggle to porn. This is a consent struggle for me as a believer in Jesus Christ. However, I have another reason to write this instead of talking about my struggles which I have already done before. My issue is with the Church (Body of Believers) as a whole. We as the church(Body of Believers) need to be open about these struggles in everyday life. Struggle that face everyone everyday. My struggle with porn is not an isolated case that is one in a million, but rather this is something that every church(building) has a member struggling with. I’m not just talking about struggles with porn but struggles with all types of sexual sin, lust, fornication, masturbation, homosexuality or even adultery. All of these are things that in general we want to keep to ourselves because it is related to having or thinking of sex. The Church (Body of Believers) needs to be opened about these matter because lives can depend on it. There are people in the church (building) that have these struggles but don’t want to tell anyone about it because they are afraid of being judged. When in reality there is someone else there that can possible help then though the struggle and maybe even lead them to Christ which will help them even more in this daily battle that we all as humans face.

Two Hearts

27 03 2013

We have two hearts. The Physical one that pumps blood and then the “Heart” Which er both use everyday.

I had open heart surgery on April 22nd 1998 when I was just 11 years old. I didnt know who God or Jesus was. I mean I heard of them but by no means did I have a relationship with Him.

So often we entrust our physical well being including our heart to God weather we trust that he will provide the right doctors to help or if it is just a supernatural healing.

However I do know that I have a tough time entrusting God with my “heart” I know He can heal me physically, but I feel like I have a tough time entrusting Him to heal my emotional heart. I have tried many things to fell this void in my heart. From porn, women, gambling, shopping(Yes, I love to shop) and even just hanging out with friends. Some of these things are sin and others aren’t but ALL are substitutes for the spot in my “heart” that is meant for God. I think of my heart like a puzzle. If you have the right pieces than it fits perfectly. God is the outer edges of the the puzzle that holds everything in and if we try to make those edges out of something else we don’t end up with a heart but just a jumble of mess.

God can heal our “Hearts” no matter what has happened to it in the past. If we were abused both psychically and emotionally or if we have have been the abuser and have a tough time forgiven ourselves, God can heal it all. We are not bound by our past unless we dwell on the past. We cannot change the past, just the future. We just need to put all our trust in Him, the one that saved us and the one that loves us.

I feel like this happens to a lot of people besides just myself. We may not be living in Sin but we aren’t allowing God to occupy the places He belongs.


2 02 2013

I haven’t said anything on either of my blogs about this because well really I didn’t think about it.  Anyways I felt called to go on a mission trip my College is putting on.  The trip is to Thessaloniki, Greece on May 9th until the 23rd. On the trip we will be doing many things such as doing a protest for A21 which is a nonprofit sex trafficking awareness and prevention organization, doing a coffee shop ministry (sitting down with Greek college students to help with their English), and also going to a Roma (gypsy) camp to spend time with the children.

I have never been on a mission trip before and I am really looking forward to this.  As of right now I am in need of two things 1st Prayer and 2nd financial help.  The whole trip cost $2,900 and right now I need $1,475(1st half) on Feb 21st for the 1st deadline.  That is right as of right now I’ve only raised $25 towards the trip.  If you are able to help, it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED.  Southeastern University is a non-profit organization and when you donate at (in the comments please make sure you write “Greece-Eric Fifield”) you will be able to deduct any donation you made on your taxes.

Any and all help both financial and prayer is appreciated.  I know my God will provide because I truly believe that he has called me to this trip.  I know most people that read this will not know me personally but if read some of my other blogs than you will know what I have been though and the fact that God is using me is a miracle in itself and so I must believe in this miracle that He will provide.  Please consider this.  Thanks and God Bless.


18 01 2013

Angels fell so why can’t men that were saved.  The whole once saved always saved I no longer believe.  I feel you can lose your salvation.  I only say this because of my own personal experiences.  I got saved in 2008 and I walked the path that God wanted me to until last year.  I started going back to what I knew and what I liked, Porn, One of the unspoken things that binds people up.  The last year I haven’t heard God or seen God.  I wasn’t seeking Him and I didn’t want Him.  I liked what I was doing and I could justify it, so than it must have been ok than right? Either way I was not with God and I was at a state where I was “Lukewarm” Rev 3:16 says “So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”  If God is going to “spit” someone out of His mouth than to me that translates to not getting into Heaven which equals loss of salvation. 

Please leave any comments you may have.  This is just one believer’s thoughts about something that will be debated until the end of the World.

Listen to the Lord

17 01 2013

So many times we as people forget that our actions have reactions.  I have done some stuff recently that I am not proud of and hurt someone’s feelings that I wish I didn’t. At the same time I finally actually listened to God.  I always wanted a relationship and I thought I was ready but God made it clear to me that I am not ready and in fact I am farther away than I could have even imagined.

This is all because I decided I was ready and was taking the steps towards that.  Someone actually opened their heart to me and I hurt it.  The one thing I didn’t want to do.  At the same time I’m glad I ended it when I did because first it was what God was telling me and I haven’t listened to His voice in a while and secondly if I kept going it would have hurt both of us even worse.

This is the time I must “Trust in the Lord with all my Heart and lean not on my own understanding but in ALL my ways acknowledge Him…”So that He can direct my way.  

New Testimony

12 11 2012

I posted this in my other blog and although I already have one in this blog, I like the way this one is written.

I am about to post my testimony.  I didn’t want to post it on this blog as I already have another one with it but I feel like I need to on this one too.

Our past is our past. It does shape our future, not in what we will become but in what we wont become. My testimony could mean lose of friends or gain in respect or both or neither, but my testimony will give glory to God.

Like many growing up I was picked on either because of my speech or my weight. Like many it caused me to have low self-esteem. That is not the worst that happened to me. The worst thing that happened to me was a choice I made, when I first looked at pornography. I was around 15 or 16.

It wasn’t a surprise that my dad give it to me, but it was a choice I had and I did what I shouldn’t have. Little did I know this would start a whirl wind of depression and shame. Every year my addiction grew along with my self esteem lowering.

By the time I was 18 it was worse than I could have imagined. At this same point I was feeling a pull to go to church. I was living at a homeless shelter at this time and so I went to a church that a volunteer did the worship at. I went a few times but was too afraid of how the congregation would react if they found out this secret of mine. So what did I do I ran. This happened from church to church.I was ashamed and depressed. God couldn’t accept me for what I did, could he? These people are perfect and I’m not.

When I was about 21 I went to my mom’s church same thing happened I went and swear I would never go back, but wouldn’t you know God had another plan for me. A few months later, I ended up moving back to my home town literally less than a ¼ mile from my mom’s. Would you know it every week I asked my mom if I could go to church with her. This had to be power from God after all I swear I wouldn’t go back to this church. About 3 weeks after going there a missionary was speaking it was April 23rd 2008, and that is the day I accepted the Lord into my life. A few more weeks passed and I finally opened up to someone about my struggle, the Pastor. To my surprise he told me it is not uncommon in the world for someone to have this addiction. Then he told me that even in the christian community it is a problem. I thought it couldn’t be that big after all, I never heard anyone talk about it. Then I talked to the elder and he told me the same thing. I was amazed were all this people I’ve seen in all these Churches acting happy? Later I would learn that their joy came from the Lord.

Again a few months passed and now it is August 2008 and I realized I need help to fight this. I ended up in September 1st 2008 going into a Christian Rehab called Teen Challenge. There is where my life would change. I would have to give my testimony but I would never give the real one and would give a testifony. Until one day God opened my heart, I was out on a Choir and I felt the need to give my real testimony for the 1st time. Once I did I was amazed with the release of pressure that came. The Holy Spirit moved in a way that was in a way words cant explain, just felt.

I graduated Teen Challenge in December 2009 and stayed as a staff. I left there in June 2011 to come to Southeastern. When I got here I didn’t tell anyone my testimony until one night I felt like I needed to tell my group of friends both guy friends and girl friends. I thought for sure some would go running but everyone stuck by my side.

Through all my 26 years on this Earth, I never realized that my past was my past. 2ndCorinthians 5:17 stats it the best “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation the old has gone but the new has come.” Although we are a new creation in Christ we cannot be ashamed of who we were because it is who we were that will help us to minister to others. How would I be able to minister to those that have been through addiction of any kind or even depression if I hadn’t gone through it. We all have our past and with that we can help others.