Two Hearts

27 03 2013

We have two hearts. The Physical one that pumps blood and then the “Heart” Which er both use everyday.

I had open heart surgery on April 22nd 1998 when I was just 11 years old. I didnt know who God or Jesus was. I mean I heard of them but by no means did I have a relationship with Him.

So often we entrust our physical well being including our heart to God weather we trust that he will provide the right doctors to help or if it is just a supernatural healing.

However I do know that I have a tough time entrusting God with my “heart” I know He can heal me physically, but I feel like I have a tough time entrusting Him to heal my emotional heart. I have tried many things to fell this void in my heart. From porn, women, gambling, shopping(Yes, I love to shop) and even just hanging out with friends. Some of these things are sin and others aren’t but ALL are substitutes for the spot in my “heart” that is meant for God. I think of my heart like a puzzle. If you have the right pieces than it fits perfectly. God is the outer edges of the the puzzle that holds everything in and if we try to make those edges out of something else we don’t end up with a heart but just a jumble of mess.

God can heal our “Hearts” no matter what has happened to it in the past. If we were abused both psychically and emotionally or if we have have been the abuser and have a tough time forgiven ourselves, God can heal it all. We are not bound by our past unless we dwell on the past. We cannot change the past, just the future. We just need to put all our trust in Him, the one that saved us and the one that loves us.

I feel like this happens to a lot of people besides just myself. We may not be living in Sin but we aren’t allowing God to occupy the places He belongs.



2 02 2013

I haven’t said anything on either of my blogs about this because well really I didn’t think about it.  Anyways I felt called to go on a mission trip my College is putting on.  The trip is to Thessaloniki, Greece on May 9th until the 23rd. On the trip we will be doing many things such as doing a protest for A21 which is a nonprofit sex trafficking awareness and prevention organization, doing a coffee shop ministry (sitting down with Greek college students to help with their English), and also going to a Roma (gypsy) camp to spend time with the children.

I have never been on a mission trip before and I am really looking forward to this.  As of right now I am in need of two things 1st Prayer and 2nd financial help.  The whole trip cost $2,900 and right now I need $1,475(1st half) on Feb 21st for the 1st deadline.  That is right as of right now I’ve only raised $25 towards the trip.  If you are able to help, it would be GREATLY APPRECIATED.  Southeastern University is a non-profit organization and when you donate at (in the comments please make sure you write “Greece-Eric Fifield”) you will be able to deduct any donation you made on your taxes.

Any and all help both financial and prayer is appreciated.  I know my God will provide because I truly believe that he has called me to this trip.  I know most people that read this will not know me personally but if read some of my other blogs than you will know what I have been though and the fact that God is using me is a miracle in itself and so I must believe in this miracle that He will provide.  Please consider this.  Thanks and God Bless.

Ghosts or Demons

21 01 2013

When I was about 15 years old, I was vacuuming the hallway and when I looked in my bedroom there was a little blonde haired boy, I’m guess about 8 or 9, standing at the foot of my bed.  I jumped around and when I looked back I didn’t see anything.  I even looked to see if there was something there that would make me imagine a blonde haired boy, sure enough nothing.  I instantly started crying in fear.

Now I was 25 and now on my own going to school in Florida.  One night I looked up from my bed and I saw this really dark demonic shadow woman standing at the kitchen counter looking at me.  I started praying out of fear and “she” went away as I fall back asleep.  I know that this was not an extension of a dream or anything like that.

Can someone that is a Christian, like myself, believe in Ghost? Is it “ungodly” to believe in such things?  I think not.  I feel that there are demons for show i.e. the woman at my counter but I also believe that there are Ghosts that are lost.  I will defend this belief until God himself tells me other wise.  I know what the Bible says but to me it is not 100% clear.  I would someday like to go on a real “Ghost Hunt” to see if I can get answers.  For all I know every “Ghost” is a Demon.  I really don’t know but I would like to find out.

Feel free to leave comments and any thoughts you have.

Random Struggle

21 01 2013

I cannot tell anyone how many times this week I have heard “Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him; and he will direct your path.” It’s like GOD I get it.  I’m trying, what part of my life am I not acknowledging you?  OHHHH That part yeah I don’t want to.  Yeah that is my only fun. Oh wait what? I cant have you all until you have me all.  That doesn’t seem right.  Why is that? Oh because you made me, sorry but that’s not good enough for me.


18 01 2013

Angels fell so why can’t men that were saved.  The whole once saved always saved I no longer believe.  I feel you can lose your salvation.  I only say this because of my own personal experiences.  I got saved in 2008 and I walked the path that God wanted me to until last year.  I started going back to what I knew and what I liked, Porn, One of the unspoken things that binds people up.  The last year I haven’t heard God or seen God.  I wasn’t seeking Him and I didn’t want Him.  I liked what I was doing and I could justify it, so than it must have been ok than right? Either way I was not with God and I was at a state where I was “Lukewarm” Rev 3:16 says “So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”  If God is going to “spit” someone out of His mouth than to me that translates to not getting into Heaven which equals loss of salvation. 

Please leave any comments you may have.  This is just one believer’s thoughts about something that will be debated until the end of the World.

Listen to the Lord

17 01 2013

So many times we as people forget that our actions have reactions.  I have done some stuff recently that I am not proud of and hurt someone’s feelings that I wish I didn’t. At the same time I finally actually listened to God.  I always wanted a relationship and I thought I was ready but God made it clear to me that I am not ready and in fact I am farther away than I could have even imagined.

This is all because I decided I was ready and was taking the steps towards that.  Someone actually opened their heart to me and I hurt it.  The one thing I didn’t want to do.  At the same time I’m glad I ended it when I did because first it was what God was telling me and I haven’t listened to His voice in a while and secondly if I kept going it would have hurt both of us even worse.

This is the time I must “Trust in the Lord with all my Heart and lean not on my own understanding but in ALL my ways acknowledge Him…”So that He can direct my way.  

Addiction, Sin, Love

18 10 2012

Addiction is an Addiction.

Sin is a Sin

And Love is Love.


An addiction is an addiction. It is all you can think about. Everything you do is to get the next big rush. Whether it is Drugs, Alcohol or even Sex it takes control.


Sin is Sin. It all leads to the same place hell. Whether is be rape, murder or even stealing and lying. It all lead to the same judgment.



Love is Love it is not lust or “like”. “Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails.”


So let Jesus be your addiction. Let him take your sin and let love shine in and thru you.