My testimony and some other random stuff

12 09 2011

I don’t know how to explain the feelings I have. Some of it is joy some pain and some more is love. I have yet to find true love accept from God. I have never been on a date. I have done stupid stuff in my life and the one that was there beside me was not a female nor male but Jesus Christ even before I know Him, He knew me and loved me. I was a sinner among a sin filled world. This World is filled with Love of Sin. I was one that did what I pleased whether gamble, hate, watch X-Rated movies, called myself and others names. Yeah I did all this but it was Christ that pulled me out of the Darkness of the World into the Light that is Christ. I was afraid of what people might think or say about me in the Church so I would only go once and a while but never back to the same one more than twice. When I final day I was surprised to see what the peoples reaction was. It was not surprise on them they knew the battle and they cared to help me get closer to the one that created me. Even after that 1st time I was afraid of what other might say. I thought will this Guys are exactly that Guys. So, When I went into Teen Challenge for Porn I and had to gave a testimony I would do it under the gambling. Until The Holy Spirit moved in a Pastor in Mass. The Spirit told the Pastor that I wanted to give my testimony my real one about the porn. When the Pastor told me that I started worrying because he was right I did want to give it but I was afraid. I tried to get out of it but couldn’t the Spirit wouldn’t let me. When I gave it to the Church it was like the weight of the world off my shoulders. Word can’t explain how I felt. But again even after that I was still not comfortable giving it. About a year later I was comfortable with giving it in front of churches. I still hadn’t done it in front of a HUGE church until I was graduated Teen challenge and there was about 400-500 people there. Lets move a year or so down the road, I was applying to Southeastern University and had to give my testimony. When I did I couldn’t decide whether or not to mention the porn but decided that I was going to come here with the higher ups knowing the truth about my past because it was just that a my past. I got here and was trying to hide it from everyone, but know I am telling people that I have meant only for a couple of seconds. I even told a female about my past one on one. Before I couldn’t even talk about in front of my Pastor or anything. I had no idea what has been happening to be accept that I’ getting more and more free with who I am in Christ. This is the 1st time that I am putting anything online about my past and I’m not even afraid because I know who I am in Christ and if people look down on me because of my past than they need to check their heart. I have meet people that care about me for who I am and accept my past. I know when I can tell a female my past and she doesn’t run the other way that that is someone with the love of Christ in them. It doesn’t even have to be a female but anyone. I have is the Love of Christ in my life from Family, Friend and even St angers. The Love of the Lord is freeing and the hatred of the emery is binding in darkness. I have experienced that as well both in my past life with myself and with this life with Christ and people coming against me. When people come against you it can make you feel down and out if you don’t remember you are with Christ and Christ is the one who will Judge them for their Judgment against you. You don’t have to Judge them back. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult but with blessings. All I can do for the person who judges me is to pray for them. If God can change my heart He can change theirs. I am not the Judge God is the Judge. I must be willing to forgive as the Lord has forgiven me. I have been called to preach the gospel to those who are lost and suffering and if I can;t do that now and here how will I be able to do it anywhere else. I need to practice now and that what I am going to be doing. I am going to do what I need to to help those who are lost on this campus. I was among christian ans was still lost when I was going to youth groups and such. I am going to conclude this with if this offended you than I’m sorry not because I offended you but because the Work that Christ did in my offended you. I am who I am now not who I was 3 ½ years ago. Now I am a follow of Christ trying to show the world what He can and has done in a life.

God Bless

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2 responses

13 09 2011
Sweet Rains

Thank you for sharing your testimony and being willing to be transparent. It warms my heart to see the hunger and thirst you have for Christ and spiritual things. May God bless you and strengthen you and keep you from stumbling. And may He give you opportunities to bless others.

22 10 2011
pam

good stuff

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